The Great Microwave Adventure
by Flaming Tigress Mage
Summary: Gasp THE HORROR! How will Domino survive against Bakura armed with MICROWAVES? P.S. Happy Birthday to me!


The Great Microwave Adventure 

**By Flaming Tigress Mage and Seeky L. H. Wolf**

(Note: Although Tamara Raymond is present in the authors' notes of this fic, she wishes to receive no credit for its creation, as she took no part in it other than assisting with the chess; therefore, we give her all the credit, just to annoy her. ^_~ )

Tigress: Hello! It's another insane fic by me, the master of insanity!

Seeky: _Hey, I'm _the master of insanity! *the two start fighting*

Tamara: Uh…guys?

Tigress and Seeky: *still fighting*

Tamara: Uh…okay, I guess I'll have to do this myself. Tigress and Seeky do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Ikea, or Hershey's Kisses. But Tigress owns the random guy named Joe. Now read this thing already.

***

         It was a beautiful day in Domino City.  The air was sweet, the sun was warm, and everything was, above all, _normal._

         That should be your clue that something is about to happen.

         Nothing was up at the Mutou Residence.  Marik, amazingly, wasn't plotting any plots to kill people and steal freaky golden puzzle thingies.  (At least, not today.)  Kaiba wasn't thinking about getting rare, powerful cards that would make him even richer then he already was.  Noa seemed perfectly content surfing the Internet.  Even Shadi had ceased his mindless monotone to appreciate the beauty of the day.

         Which meant, of course, that there had to be something going terribly wrong at Ryou's house.

         Ah, yes.  Here, as we descend upon the modest domicile, we see large, red trucks and men in heavy coats.  And…yes, sure enough, part of the house seems to be burned out.

          "Next time, when you're home alone, don't throw random lit matches in random directions," said one of the firemen to Ryou.  "You never know where they'll end up."

          "Yes, sir," he replied.  "I won't do it again.  I had _no idea_ that they'd land in the coal pit."

          "All right, then.  You know, this is the fifth time this week…"

          "Yes, yes, I know."

          "And it's only Tuesday—"

          "I know.  Thank you."  The fireman nodded.  He got into the fire truck and drove off.  As soon as he was gone, Ryou whirled on the figure attempting to hide in the doorway.

          "I told you not to use your flamethrowers in the house!" he yelled.  Bakura did his best to look sheepish.  He wasn't very successful, except for his long, white hair.  After that didn't work, he tried to come up with an excuse.  "Jeez, it was only ten rooms in the house, and that isn't much at all, by my standards—"

          "By your standards, the house is a tomb!"  The normally docile Ryou was getting angrier and angrier by the minute.  "If you do this again, I'm taking away your sugar!"  Bakura turned pale, if it was even humanly possible to turn paler than white.

          "Now let's go in.  At least you didn't torch down the kitchen or the study…" Ryou muttered.

          "Um…Ryou?  That reminds me.  Try to look out for mines in the kitchen."

          "*sigh* I'd better call the bomb squad."

         ***Later…***

          "You know, this was the fifth time this week…"

          "I know."

          "And it's only Tuesday—"

          "I know."

         The bomb squad packed up and left.  Ryou turned to Bakura.  "I hope you haven't left any other surprises in the house."

          "That reminds me.  Those bear traps I set around your bed are getting a bit rusty…I'd better change them…"

          "Anything _else_ after _that_?"

          "Uh…the gas leak…"

          "_Gas leak?_  If there was a _gas leak, how come the whole house didn't blow to smithereens when you _torched_ it?"_

          "Oh, the gas leak was from the last five minutes."

          "That's it, I'm going to study.  Consider yourself grounded from your weapons of mass destruction until further notice.  That includes rat poison."

          "_What?_"

         ***

          "Ryou, I'm hungry!" complained Bakura.  "Make me a snack."

          "I'm studying for final exams!" was the reply.  "Make it yourself!"

          "Hm."  Bakura went into the kitchen.  He searched the freezer, and picked up a package.  He knew from experience that this package with the strange symbols that spelled "Hershey's" was delicious.  But he couldn't get it to open.

          "Stupid—bag—gr—ny—d—jsg—oh, by the milk bowl of Bast!"  He whacked it against the counter as couple of times.

          "And try not to break anything while you're at it!" Ryou called from the study.

          "Grrrrr…" Bakura was now attempting to break the bag open with his teeth.  "_I can't take any more!  I summon the Man-Eater Bug!"  A giant bug came out and ripped up the bag.  It also ripped up half the house._

          "I hope _for your sake_ that wasn't the Man-Eater Bug ripping up half the house," called Ryou from the study.  "The renovators and builders just left."

          "Uh…no…it was a horde of rampaging Kuriboh!"  Bakura tried to shove the Man-Eater Bug out the door.  That was the problem.  He could summon monsters from the Shadow Realm, but he couldn't send them back.  "There's this grassy meadow about 30 miles from town," he hissed.  "It has lots of other Man-Eater Bugs over there.  Try not to make yourself noticed, or Ryou will have my weapons of mass destruction destroyed."  The Man-Eater Bug shrugged, and stomped away, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.  Bakura went back inside.

          "Dangit!  Uh…Ryou…you know that skylight you were talking about but we never got because we couldn't afford it?"  From the study, Ryou put down his books, and shouted, "_Bakura!"_

          "We didn't get one now!" Bakura yelled, looking for "Roofing etc." in the phone book.  Not finding it, he decided that Ryou could take care of it.  He had to get back to his Hershey's Kisses.

         He unwrapped one and bit it.  It was still frozen.  He glanced over at the microwave and thought.

         ***Flashback***

          "Ryou, what are you doing?" Bakura asked of the 13-year old.

          "Warming up my food," said Ryou.  He stuck the food onto a plate and put it into the black box.

          "You know, I could warm up your food," Bakura offered.

          "And torch down the house?  I though we agreed that if the firefighters came more then 10 times a week, you were grounded.  This will work."  The box dinged, and Bakura jumped 3 feet in the air.  "_Evil being from the Shadow Realm!_"

          "It's okay, Bakura!" Ryou said, frantically trying to calm down the 4998-year old Egyptian tomb robber before he did something that he would later (hopefully) regret.  "The microwave's just telling me the food is done."  He took the food out of the my-crow-wave.  Amazingly, it was steaming.

         Ryou saw the way Bakura was eyeing the microwave and said, "_Never touch this, Bakura, if you don't want to lose your card deck that you're starting." Bakura promised to be good while keeping his fingers crossed behind his back._

**         *end flashback***

         Bakura stuffed all of the (still wrapped) Hershey's Kisses into the microwave and pressed random buttons on it, like he had seen Ryou do.  The microwave started glowing and making strange sounds.  Bakura hit it to speed the process up.

         ***

         Ryou put down his books in the study.  Something wasn't right, he knew it.  There were strange noises coming from the kitchen. Strange noises, and stranger smells…Suddenly he remembered what he had said to Bakura.  "_Go fix your own snack…_"

          "Oh, Ra," Ryou gasped, breaking into a dead run for the kitchen.

         ***

          "Hurry up!" Bakura nearly screamed.  He hadn't seen the microwave glow when Ryou was warming up his food, but he hadn't had a good view of the front that time.  This was probably normal.  Probably.  The microwave started beeping frantically and shaking side to side.  Suddenly, Ryou burst into the kitchen.

         The first thing he took in was the hole in the shape of a Man-Eater Bug where their door used to be.

         The second thing he saw was the antennae-shaped holes in the ceiling.

         The third thing was the microwave about to explode.

         Wait a minute…

          "_Bakura, take cover!_" he screeched, pulling his Yami away from the microwave.

          "But my Hershey's Kisses!" Bakura protested.  Ryou pulled him out of the kitchen as the microwave shook for a final time and exploded.  Wide-eyed, Bakura got out of the way just as flying debris flew right past his head.  When the dust cleared, Bakura glanced at Ryou.  He was looking eviler and madder than Bakura usually did in the presence of the Pharaoh.

          "Oh, Ra," he muttered, right before the tongue-lashing started.

          "_What the Osiris were you thinking?_" Ryou screeched.  "_You could've been hurt, even killed if I hadn't got there in time!  You outcast of Hathor! You know what I'm going to do to you?  I'll tell you!  I'm sending you to babysit my cousins for a week so I can get some peace and quiet around here!_"  Bakura's eyes widened.  "I was just warming up wrapped Hershey's Kisses in the microwave!"

          "_You idiot!  You were in my soul room during those science classes!  You should have known that aluminum foil in the microwave blows it up!_"  Bakura's eyes narrowed, and an evil grin began to cross his face.

          "_And as punishment, if you ever try to use the microwave again, your sugar is as good as gone!  You're lucky I feel lenient today!_"  Bakura's breath caught.  He didn't breathe for a moment, he just stared at Ryou with wide eyes.  Then he fell over.  He had fainted.

         ***

          "Thanks for coming over to baby-sit the cousins, Ryou," said Ryou's aunt.  Bakura was doing his best to put on a British demeanor, and wide eyes, as well as a tone of innocence.  "No problem," he said.  Ryou's aunt (who for lack of a better name we will call Vanessa) frowned.  "Is there something wrong with your voice?"

          "Small cold," said Bakura.  "Nothing of concern."

          "All right, then," Vanessa said, completely unsuspicious. "Timmy and Michael are upstairs, taking their naps.  Now, I know how you feel about violence, but please, try not to freak out if they bring weapons of mass destruction out from the closet.  They were so pleased when they found them, so try not to upset them."

          "All right," said Bakura, struggling to keep a grin from his face.  "I'll go upstairs and check on them now."

          "Thanks," said Vanessa.  "I'll be back by midnight.  I have a rush job to do.  I'll see you at midnight!"  As soon as she left, he bolted upstairs, and looked at the kids.  They looked back at him.  "You're not Ryou."

          "What tipped you off?" he asked sarcastically.

          "Ryou's a sissy, and a coward.  And you…you look like even more of a sissy."  Bakura narrowed his eyes.  Then he stopped himself.  "Hey, how would you kids feel about world domination today?"

          "Yay!  Ryou never does fun stuff.  He just locks us up in cages so we won't wreck the house and reads," Timmy, the younger of the two brothers explained.

          "Yeah, but he leaves behind weapons of mass destruction that he says he doesn't want in his house," Michael said.

          "So that's where all my weapons have been going," Bakura muttered.

          "But first, I want a snack.  I suddenly have a craving for wrapped Hershey's Kisses warmed in a microwave."

         ***

         Ishizu had laid off all of her destiny junk for the day. She was actually planning on tidying up the museum, and going on with the destiny speeches, but her brother (who was, for the first time since he was six, behaving well) had talked her out of it.

         Suddenly, she felt a shock wave.  She touched her Millennium Necklace, then stopped. She had promised herself not to use any Millennium powers today, in celebration of her brother's good behavior, but the temptation was strong.

         She decided to go for a walk. As she walked down the intersection of Main and First, she noticed Bakura and two little boys, fleeing the remains of a house with sticks of dynamite in their hands.

         She realized she was getting good at predicting the future, because even without her Millennium Necklace, she knew that this day would not turn out to be happy.

         ***

          "Ye-_hah!_  The great Joey Wheeler creams you again!" Joey exulted in Tristan's face.  "I am _ultimate!_  I am _great!_  I am _unbeatable!_"  Just then, Kaiba walked by and glanced in Joey's direction.  Ah, yes.  The speck of pollution ruining an otherwise-perfect day.  He started walking away, when all of a sudden, he heard Joey say, "I am the _master_ of chess!"

          "You?  The master?"  Kaiba started laughing so hard, he needed to lean on a tree to support himself.  "I could cream you any day of the week, Wheeler, and twice on Thursdays."

          "Hey, what are you doing walking in the park?" asked Tristan. "Parks are for happy, optimistic people whose lives extend beyond the shrouded dullness of corporate business."

          "Well," Kaiba explained, "I came to watch over Mokuba.  His bodyguards have let him be kidnapped so many times, I wouldn't trust those imbeciles with a paper clip."

          "And what's so funny?" asked Joey skeptically. "I am _so _the master of chess, and if you don't believe it, I can easily clear up any doubt in your thick skull."

         Dun dun dunnnnn…

         Kaiba was about to sit down in the chair opposite Joey, but decided to stand and avoid ruining his trench coat.

          "Are you ready to be _creamed, Wheeler?"_

          "The question is, what are _you gonna give me when __you lose?" Joey retorted._

         [A/N: Tamara and I re-enacted this to figure out the moves: me, the chess whiz, of course, playing Kaiba, Tamara, the chess loser, playing Joey.

Tamara: _Are you insulting me? Huh? Are you insultin—_

Tigress: *punches Tamara out*

Tamara: …whoo…yes, she was insulting me…*blacks out*

Tigress: Tamara didn't win, of course.]

         Kaiba started as white.  "E4."

          "Wait until you see my ultimate board-controlling move!  E5!"  Kaiba nearly did an anime fall, but didn't, of course, for obvious reasons.  "Qh5."

          "Hah!  You think I'm such an amateur, I'd fall for the 4-move checkmate?"

          "Yes."

          "Well, think again!  G6!"

          "Ooo, I'd be so scared now, except for the fact that I just took E5 with my queen!  Check!"

          "Uh…I'll move Be7."

          "And now, in one masterful stroke, I move Qxh8!  Your rook is gone!"  Joey's eyes bulged.  "I'd better get defense going!  Bd6!"

          "I'll move Qg7."  Kaiba picked up the queen with a smirk on his face.  "Move, Chihuahua."

          "_Are you calling me a Chihuahua? Are you insulting me? Huh? Huh?_"

          "Yes."

          "Oh.  I move Ne7."

          "D3."

          "NC6!  I will win with this powerful move soon!"

          "Bh6."

          "I need to get my bishop out, so I move B6!"

          "Qf8.  Checkmate."

          "_What?_  No way!  There has to be another move!"  Kaiba smirked.  "Find it, Chihuahua."

          "Uh…uh…_Was that Mokuba just falling off the swings?_"  Kaiba spun around.  While he wasn't facing Joey, Joey took Kaiba's queen off the board and put his own queen at D1.  "What do you mean, Mokuba fell off the swings?" Kaiba asked.  "That kid doesn't even look like Mokuba!"

          "Oh, sorry.  My eyes must have been blinded by the glare of victory."

          "Yeah, right, Chihuahua."

          "Oh, yeah?"  Joey moved his queen.  "QE1!  I take your king off the board!"  Kaiba gaped.  "I couldn't have missed that with my eyes close…" He paused and glanced suspiciously at Joey.  "Did you take my queen off the board and put your own at D1?"

          "What makes you think I would ever do that?" asked Joey.  "Unlike _some_ of the present company, I don't cheat."

          "Are you implying that I cheat, Wheeler?"  Kaiba grabbed Joey's collar and stuffed him into a nearby tree.  As he walked off, he thought, {I just stuffed Wheeler into a tree.  What a great day this is.}

         From the tree, Joey thought, {I just beat Kaiba at chess.  What a great day this is.}

          "Sore loser!" he called out after him.

          "Cheater!"

         They both grinned.

         [A/N:  Yay!  I just got Fire Emblem, and I'm at around Chapter 26!  There's this character called Raven who looks like Kaiba.  All you would have to do is lengthen his trench coat, and comb his hair a bit, and he would look exactly like Kaiba.  Plus, Raven is the essence of coolness.  Therefore, I will not be torturing Kaiba as much as I normally would because of this positive influence.

Tamara: There are so many Fire Emblem characters that look like Yu-Gi-Oh characters!  I mean, Raven has a younger sibling, just like Kaiba, only Pricilla is a girl, she looks like Tea, and she's useful for more then toting around a laptop.

Tigress: Also, Pent looks kinda like Pegasus (Although Pent is soooo much cooler, and he's also useful), and his wife, Louise, looks kinda like Cecelia (Also ditto on the cool and usefulness).  Guy looks like Duke Devlin (Triple on the cool and usefulness), and Harken looks like Joey.  Also, Nils looks like Noa (Quadruple on the above mentioned stuff) and Lowen looks like Weevil Underwood (Quintuple).

Tamara: Stop jabbing about Fire Emblem and get back to the story!]

         In the middle of the park, there was a group of kids crowding around a large object. Kaiba pushed his way to the front of the crowd. Then he saw Mokuba.

          "Mokuba, what are you doing?"

          "It's a giant microwave. It's been going for a couple minutes now." 

         Kaiba glanced at the contents of the microwave. Then he did a double-take.

          "_Mokuba, get away before that thing blows your brains out!_" He scooped up his younger brother and ran.

         The microwave (stuffed full of Hershey's Kisses by you-know-who) shook a final time. Kaiba barely made it outside of the range of the explosion.

         From the other end of the (long, long) extension cord, Timmy saw Michael give him the thumbs-up. Bakura laughed evilly.

          "Giant microwaves. What'll we think of next?"

         From the tree, Joey screamed as several flying chess pieces struck him. He struggled to get out of the tree (which had caught on fire). As he did so, he watched Tristan, in a rush to flee, get run over by a truck (but who cares?). Just as Joey got out of the tree, it exploded. (Thank you, spontaneous combustion.)

         He watched the truck that had hit Tristan speeding off. _Who the heck was driving that thing?_

          "I love this thing!" exclaimed Bakura, putting the pedal to the metal.

         KaibaCorp was just, well, _existing_ there in Domino City, an eyesore to all who saw it.  Timmy and Michael's plan?  To make everyone's day a more pleasant one without that obtrusive building.

          "What luck! This is an Ikea truck," Michael announced. "And do you know what's being delivered?"

          "What?" asked Bakura, certain he already knew the answer.

          "_Microwaves!_"

         _Grin. "All right, Michael, load her up!"_

         The truck hurdled across a huge drawbridge. After loading the microwaves with Kisses and starting them up, the threesome flung open the door and dove, plunging into the waters below. The truck continued along its merry way (Bakura had fixed the cruise control), which meant, of course, that it collided with KaibaCorp. As if this wasn't enough to startle the employees working there, the truck blew up almost as quickly as it had come through the wall.

         The three surfaced. They happened to notice the boat. But not just any boat. It was _the boat. The great boat with lovingly painted waves on it. The boat, of course, belonging to Mako Tsunami._

          (Which also happened to have a microwave on it.)

         Mako, at the time, was preparing fish at the boat's stove. Suddenly, he heard some clattering. The boat gave a small shudder. "What? Who's there?" he asked out loud. There was no reply. Still suspicious, he ventured out onto the main deck. No one was there. Just then, there was a splash, coming from the starboard side of the boat. Mako dashed over to see Bakura, Michael, and Timmy swimming to shore.

         There was a rattling sound coming from the kitchen area. "What the—" he managed before the microwave blew up.

         ***

          "Yugi!" called Solomon Mutou from the Turtle Game shop.  "We just got a new shipment of cards!  Can you unpack them for me?"

          "Sure thing, Grandpa!" Yugi called, putting down his homework.  He walked down to the waiting boxes, opened them up, and saw…

         A whole boxful of Duel Monster cards.  Any _normal_ kid would've unpacked for a few minutes, then gotten bored and gone back upstairs, but remember, this is Yugi, Duel Monster Freak Extraordinaire, that we're talking about.  His eyes grew wide, as the box seemed to glow with a heavenly light.

          (Actually, that was Timmy and Michael sneaking in with the microwave, and Bakura plugging it in and getting electric shock, but for the moment, we'll _pretend_ it's the Duel Monster cards.)

         With reverence, Yugi unpacked the Duel Monsters cards, handling each aluminum-foil wrapped package (aluminum foil?  This is bound to get good) as if it was a god card.  In his silent praises of the great Duel Monsters, he was unable to hear Bakura cursing in Egyptian, Timmy stomping on his foot to shut him up and accidentally getting Michael instead, Michael's "_Yeow!_" of pain, or his Grandpa calling for him to be careful.  He turned away for a minute to get cases, then turned around again.  "Hey, who put the cards in the mi—"

         Boom.

         ***

[Psst. Hi, everybody, it's me, Tamara Raymond…yes, this is really me…no, this is not part of the fic…listen, I had to edit and post this for Tigress because she doesn't have Internet access, so I'm taking the liberty of adding the following: Please send her a very, very nice happy-birthday review after you finish reading it. She joined Fanfiction.net one year ago as of today. Sorry to interrupt…now read on!]

         ***

         Noa was taking a day off of his revenge and getting a physical form and instead, boredly creating another Virtual Reality world.

         [A/N: My computer tells me there is no such word as "boredly".  I say "Learn to live with it, computer."]

         He briefly wondered why he didn't try to transport Kaiba back and take over his body without paying attention to dueling, but after a few minutes of mindlessly debating with himself, he decided to drop the subject.  Deciding that creating another one of these things was pointless, he brought up the internet and started surfing.  He didn't get far before AOL popped up and said in that enormously aggravating voice, "You've got mail!"

          "Stupid…wait a minute.  Who installed AOL in _my_ virtual reality?"

         Not having been in one of Tigress or Tamara's fics before, he decided it was random coincidence.

         Yeah, right.

[A/N: I don't have AOL.  Dude Smith does, though.  I've heard it once.  These stupid people keep trying to send me free AOL.  Ha!  I laugh at all of you!  I will only use Internet Explorer!  Ha!  Haha!  Hahahahaha!  Oooookay, that got off subject.  Back to the story.]

         Noa briefly wondered what AOL thought they were doing, sending him their stupid product, then decided to create a virus that would destroy all AOL all over the planet.

         The stupid AOL binged again.  "You've got mail!"  Noa maximized the browser to X out of it, but then, he saw an icon.  "What's a microwave doing on AOL?  Why's that Hershey's Kiss moving towards it?  Why do I have a feeling that I'm living out a bad FanFiction plot?"

         And that, readers, was Noa's demise.  You see, seeing that Bakura is a computer imbecile, and that Timmy and Michael are only little kids, a kind *snort* authoress might have taken pity on him and made the Hershey's Kiss easy to get rid of, but his downfall was calling the plot bad.  Because, you see, _nobody,_ not even a dead kid, gets to insult Tigress' stories and get away with it.

         The Hershey's Kiss reached the microwave.  It blew up.  But, you see, we might need Noa for other stories in the future, so I can't make this fatal.  Therefore, it only cut off Noa's contact with the world.

          "_What the _*bleeeep* _is going on here?_"  Noa became angry.  Very, very angry.  In fact, he became so angry, that he beamed a random guy in, creamed him in a duel, and took over his body.  Then, a thought hit him.  {Waaaaait a minute.  Why didn't I think of doing that sooner?}  He put it aside as his father's idiocy and exited to the real world to find the culprit.

         ***

         Marik was meditating by the duck pond. He was listening to the gentle slosh of the water, the faint cheep-ing of a bird, the sound of a microwave blowing up…wait a minute.

          "Not my salami sandwich!" he burst out, sprinting for the house. The sight that awaited him was not only his salami sandwich in smoldering remains, but the house, too, as well as a handful of Hershey's Kisses…

          "_Who did this?_" He grabbed the Millennium Rod from his pocket, using the Millennium Powers to contact Ishizu.

         {Ishizu, where are you?} Silence. Ishizu had made a vow not to use any of her item's powers today. He tried again. {Ishizu? I need you over here!} Silence. He tried again. {Ishizu, the museum blew up!}

         {_What!?}_

         {Actually, it was just the microwave. And part of the house, too…}

         {Oh, great. I was afraid of this.}

         {What do you mean!?}

         {Remember that sonic boom earlier today?}

         {Yeah…}

         {Well, right after that, I saw Bakura and two boys running down the intersection of Main and First with dynamite and bags of Hershey's Kisses in their hands…}

         {_Bakura?}_

         {Yeah.}

         {_I'm going to get that son of Set if it's the last thing I do!}_

         {Language, Marik.}

         {Oops. Pardon me.}

         Ishizu did the Millennium equivalent of hanging up.  Marik ran to the garage (or what was left of it) and his bike.  He analyzed what was where and praised Ra that his bike seemed not to be harmed.  He jumped on his bike, revved it a few times, and went speeding off to kill Bakura.

         ***

         Now here, I need to mention a few convenient facts.  Let's start with the ones that are the least important.

         A: The guy who Noa took over was named Joe, a cousin to random guys George and Bob.  And people, if you don't know them, you seriously need to read Tamara's "This Is Not Your Standard Yu-Gi-Oh! Fic."

         B: Joe was an employee at KaibaCorp, taking his lunch break when Noa took him over.  [Ooo, man, this could get good.' And he was not only _any_ employee.  He was the guy who flew the KaibaCorp blimp.  [Did I say good?  I meant hilarious.]

         C: There happened to be a national weapon storage building in Domino City.  It was actually only about 10 blocks away from Marik's house.  Which meant, of course, easy access for everyone.

         D: Bakura, Michael, and Timmy were taking a lunch break.

         E: None of the above mentioned three can read or distinguish between a restaurant and a mall.

         F: There was a ramp right near the weapon storage.

         What does this have to do with importance?

         Read on and see.

         Marik, riding his motorcycle (_waaaaaaaaaaay_ over the speed limit, too, I might add) had three cops on his tail for breaking driving law.  Seeing his destination close by, he drove up the ramp, which launched him into the air.  He turned off the ignition in midair, kicked down the kickstand, did a 270, and (amazingly) landed perfectly.  Removing his helmet, he watched as the ramp broke under the combined weight of the cop cars, sending them into the ocean.

          "Well," came a voice from behind him, "It seems like we all had the same idea."  Marik turned, to see Kaiba, Yugi, Joey, Mako Tsunami, and the random guy named Joe standing there.  "And what was that?"

          "To take down the guy who blew up my grandpa's shop," said Yugi.

          "He blew up my boat," said Mako.

          "He blew up the park," said Joey.

          "KaibaCorp," added Kaiba.

          "He blew up my internet access," said the random guy named Joe.  Marik stared.  "What's with him?"

          "He's the KaibaCorp blimp flier," Kaiba explained.  "And we think he's gone delusional."

          "I am _not_ a blimp flier!" insisted the random guy named Joe.  "I am Noa, and I will destroy you, Kaiba!  Right after I destroy this guy, first . . ."

          "For the last time, you are not Noa, you delusional freak."

          "Yes I am, and I can prove it."

          "Do so."

          "I say more then "Yes, sir."

          "All right, that's a pretty good reason."

          "So here we are, the most unlikely group of allies ever, which includes one spoiled rich kid, one duel monster freak, one _short_ duel monster freak, one guy who practically lives in the ocean, a delusional blimp flier, and me, who I might add, is perfect in every way," Marik summed up right before Kaiba's fist introduced itself to Marik's nose.

          "So does anybody have any idea who this guy is?" Yugi asked, ignoring Marik reeling in pain behind him.  "Any idea at all?"

          "I just saw three guys swimming away," said Mako.  "Right before my boat blew up, that is…"

          "I was stuck in a tree," said Joey, glaring at Kaiba, "because _somebody_ was a sore loser…"

          "You cheated, Chihuahua," said Kaiba.

          "Hey, Joey, why isn't Tristan with you?" asked Yugi.  "I thought you two were going to the park together."

          "We did, but somebody ran him over with a truck," Joey explained.

          "Oh, well.  Just curious."

          "I just saw the evilness of AOL," said the random guy named Joe.

          "Id bas Bakura," said Marik, holding his nose.

          "What was that, Marik?"

          "Id bas Bakura!"

          "I can't understand you!"

          "Un binute."  Marik amazingly recovered like all characters in a cheesy anime show do sooner or later.  "It was Bakura."

          "Oh.  Why didn't you say so clearly?" asked Yugi.  "We would have understood much faster."

          "Be quiet, or I'll stand on you."

          "_Hey!_"

          "Okay, so we know our target.  We have our weapons."

          "No fair!  I got here last, so I didn't get a choice of weapon!"

          "Okay, here are your choices.  Nothing, or introduction to my fist.  I'm not letting you get a hold of a weapon."

          "I'll go with nothing."

          "Wise choice."

         ***

         Ryou was in the study, trying to ignore the little patch of rain that had appeared above _his_ house only, but with the antennae-shaped holes in the ceiling, that was kinda hard to do.  But he was doing his best.  "The square root of the quantity of the quantity of X2 minus X1 squared plus the quantity of Y2 minus Y1 squared tells the distance between two points on a Cartesian coordinate graph…*sigh*, I better start memorizing."  There was a knock on the door.  "Come in the Man-Eater Bug shaped hole in the back," he called.  Suddenly, he felt hands around his neck.  "_Gaaah!_"

          "All right, Spirit of the Millennium Ring," Yugi said from behind Kaiba (who was doing the honor of choking Ryou), "We don't want to hurt Ryou, but if you don't come out right now, this could get ugly."

          "*choke wheeze choke gag*"

          "You know, Kaiba, I think he's trying to say something," said Mako.  "Why not let him go and let him speak?"

          "And let his other side come out with a knife and stab us?  I think not," responded Kaiba.

          "What if we just put a knife to his neck?" asked Joey, displaying some of the ones that he had taken from the weapon storage.

          "You know, you guys are ruining all my fun."

          "Glad to be of service."

         Kaiba released Ryou.  Ryou took in a big gasp of air.  "I didn't do it!"

          "We know you didn't," explained Marik like to a two-year old, "but your Yami did, and we intend to make him come out."

          "He's not here!"

          "What?"  And so, Ryou explained how two weeks ago, his Yami, trying to get the Millennium items, had fallen into a direct hidden portal to the Shadow Realm, and when they were out, they were out in two bodies instead of one being in the ring and another being in control.

          "How do we know you're not lying?" asked Kaiba.  "It could be a plot to trick us."

          "I'm not lying!  You've gotta believe me!"

          "Hm.  Should we?"

          "Nah."  The choking resumed.

          "_Help!_"  Suddenly, the door opened.  "Ha!  Ryou, you grounded me from my weapons of mass destruction, but I caused havoc by loading microwaves up with Hershey's Kisses and exploding them anyways!  I ruined everyone's day, with no exceptions!  You should have seen the looks on some of their faces—" All stopped when Bakura entered the study.  "Oh…uh…hi, Kaiba…Yugi…Joey…Mako…Marik…I'll just be going now!"  He ran.

          "_Get back here, you son of Set_!"  The chase was on.  As everyone but Ryou departed, two boys wandered into the study.  "Hi, Ryou!"

          "_Why the Ra does this happen to me?_" he said before Timmy and Michael started demonstrating how to use a flamethrower.

         ***

         Finally, at nine o' clock, it was over.  Timmy and Michael were back in their beds, Vanessa had come home and paid Bakura, and Ryou had finally got his studying done.  Currently, he was on the phone.

          "…On the intersection of Second and Olive…yes…bank account number?  It's 29535872.  [A/N: I have no idea if that's a bank account number or not.  If it is, I would like to say I did not know, so _don't sue me!_] How long?  Yes…yes…I see…thank you very much.  Goodbye."  He hung up and turned to Bakura.  "Well, your latest adventure cost $539,230.  I hope you're satisfied."

          "Very," replied Bakura.

          "*sigh* I just don't understand how our bank account can take all of this and keep on standing."

          "Well, you see, Ryou, when I went to get a bank account, I read the number, and noted where it was on the check, and didn't tell you, so when you asked, I had recently noted Kaiba's check, and…"

          "*sigh*"

         ***

         At KaibaCorp… 

          "I can't believe this!  How can I have lost so much money when I've never even spent it?"

          "I have no idea, Mr. Kaiba sir."

         ***

          "Well, there ends another day which could have been good if you had stayed in the Ring."

          "Oh, by the way, Ryou?"

          "Is it bad?"

          "Yes."

          "I don't want to hear it."

          "All right."  They sat in silence for a moment, then Bakura said, "Timmy and Michael are coming over tomorrow."

         ***

Tamara: …And that's it!

Tigress: What? The fic's over already?

Seeky: Hey, no fair! I was going to be the narrator!

Tigress: _I _was going to be the narrator! *the two start fighting*

Tamara: *sigh…*


End file.
